Perinatal Period: Normal vs. Common
Something I hear so often from friends, clients, moms etc, when they reflect back on their early postpartum days and months is “I just figured it was part of becoming a mom/parent.” Sometimes it is; often times it doesn’t have to be. Postpartum depression is the leading cause of complications amongst birthing folks. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) affect about 20% of pregnant and postpartum people, which is quite significant. PMADs affect birthing people of all races, ethnicities and economic backgrounds. Generally speaking, we do not have a culture, society or systematic practices in place to really support birthing people, during pregnancy or postpartum. The mental health crisis in the perinatal population (and let’s be honest, in the world) is on the rise at an alarming rate; and many people are not seeking support or treatment because they have either been conditioned to think it’s “just part of it” or because they don’t know where to turn, out of fear of people thinking they are a bad parent. So what can we do? If you, or someone you know, experiences any of the following things, it might be a good idea to find some help. Here are some COMMON symptoms to look for-that can elicit extra help.
Intrusive thoughts
thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere and have a very scary, negative energy. Example: you can’t stop thinking that your baby will stop breathing overnight, so you stay up and watch them breathe.
Too anxious to sleep/rest
If you cannot settle your mind and body to sleep when the baby is sleeping over night, the lack of rest will catch up very quickly. If you cannot seem to name why you feel too anxious, and you cannot find a way to rest, this also can impede your healing from giving birth
Little to no appetite
It takes a lot of energy to grow, birth and then feed a human. If you find you have little to no appetite, it can often be a symptom of an underlying issue; this may be mental health related, or a need for labs to be drawn to check your hormones, general panel.
Unexplained Rage or Aggression
Pregnancy can be overwhelming for some, and postpartum even more so. With very few moments to yourself, the added noise/energy of caring for/growing another person, many people can become very overstimulated. This can manifest as rage, or misplaced aggression due to the lack of quiet, and constant need to be “on”. This can also sometimes manifest as resentment towards a partner.
Constant anxiety around feeding baby
Whether you are nursing, pumping, bottle/formula feeding-this is a full time job. Many moms experience intense anxiety around feeding times-this can feel like a huge burden to many who had more autonomy before having a baby. If feeding starts to be the only thing you can think about, and you are not willing to let others help, it’s worth looking into getting extra support, because it takes a village!
There are some NORMAL experiences in pregnancy and postpartum, that can still be challenging. Sometimes just a few sessions with a perinatal specialist can be so validating and grounding, to keep you on the right track. This list is not all-inclusive, but just a few typical normal things to experience.
Feeling Tired
Sleep is hard to come by, pregnant and/or postpartum! Do your best to stay hydrated, focus on eating protein, and slowing down when your body asks you to. If you feel that your level of exhaustion is impeding you from daily life in general, it’s worth talking with your doctor (I recommend a functional medicine approach).
Aches and Pains
While it can be normal AND common, it is not worriesome to hear that you hips are sore! This can still be addressed with specialists like pelvic floor therapy, prenatal yoga etc.-but unless you are debilitated by the aches or pains, it’s not something to fret over-just pay attention to.
Frequent Urination
This can be alarming to (especially first time) moms when they are running (or waddling) to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes all day! Again, pelvic floor therapy can help here, but it’s not something to fret about.
Questioning Parenthood
It’s ok to wonder if you will be a good parent! I believe this part of us helps to motivate us to be the best we can be. If your thoughts are completely taken over by wondering if you are going to be a good parent, and it’s all you think about, then it’s anxiety. If finding a great book or talking to friends helps to ease your thoughts then that’s wonderful, and totally normal.
Feeling Huge
I hear moms ALL THE TIME talk about how huge they feel (I did it too!!). It can be challenging to go through such a massive change in your body in a relatively short time period. It’s ok to feel this way-as long as it doesn’t change how you nourish yourself. If you find that your thoughts/worries about your size start to affect how much or what you are eating, just be honest with yourself and ask for help. Nutrition matters for you and your baby, and it’s TOTALLY OK and expected for you to grow in size.
If you’re not sure if you, or someone you know and/or love might need a little extra support, there are many ways to get it! As a perinatal mental health specialist, I see clients for anywhere from 4-12 times (sometimes more) and see massive growth in just a few sessions. Sometimes it can just be so helpful to feel validated, be held accountable and stay on track for a healthy, embodied pregnancy/postpartum experience. Head over to my Coaching page to inquire if you want to learn more…or share with a friend who you think might benefit.
You deserve to feel good, embodied, held, and loved in your perinatal journey, wherever you might be in it.