Setting up for a Supported Postpartum Period

There is always so much emphasis put on preparing to welcome a new person into your family-which don’t get me wrong-is very important! However, it seems to be a common theme that preparing for postpartum gets left behind, and I can’t tell you how often I hear “next time I would do this differently"…” and it’s almost always centered around making sure the birthing person has more support after birth.

I have always believed that your birth experience directly informs so much of your postpartum experience. So while it’s still very important to prepare for birth, there is only so much preparation you can do; because birth is not something we have control over and even though you can be prepared in many ways, there are still many ways you won’t know what will unfold. When you know how to prepare for a supported postpartum experience, it doesn’t take TOO much extra effort to get ready, and the payoff is huge.

First and foremost: seek out mental health support. If you already have a therapist: great! If you feel that this support person does a good job hearing and holding space for any pregnancy and/or possible postpartum challenges: wonderful! If you have any doubt that this person might not specialize in this time of your life, it would be best to seek out a specialist. You can find a licensed therapist who specializes in the postpartum period; or you can find a perinatal mental health specialiast or coach, who can be someone to help you stay on track, validate your experience, hear your concerns and support you in goal setting and growing as a parent.

Have a nesting party! This is a fun way to include close friends and family to help you get organized to meet your baby. Allegra Gast, IBCLC has a great reel on her nesting party before her twins were born, and i find it to be a wonderful way to feel supported by your loved ones! This includes a cooking station, a laundry folding station, a diaper prep station etc. If having a nesting party is not in the cards, then definitely organize (or have a friend do it) a meal train. Prioritizing your nutrition postpartum is so important for optimal healing, and in a time that sleep is irregular.

Sit down and talk with your partner (or your main support person if you’re a single parent) and have an honest conversation about house responsibilities. Make sure your partner understands that they will need to pick up the chores and tasks that you usually do, for as long as they are on leave at a bare minimum. Communication about this is so important, as to not have resentments built up on either side of the relationship. Schedule regular check ins with each other to make sure that the task division feels balanced, and ask for help if it does not.

Consider hiring a house cleaner, even if its just for a few months. Having your house cleaned by someone who is not you, is incredibly helpful, and alleviates so much stress. Knowing that someone is coming into take care of these chores, however regularlay you can budget for, is a massive relief for everyone. This is a great item to add to your registry (cleaning fund).

Consider hiring a postpartum doula, (another great registry add) even if just for a few weeks! A lof of postpartum stress is related to feeling like you are in unknown territory; not knowing if you’re doing things right; wondering when you will get sleep or if you will ever sleep again. A postpartum doula can not only help with validating this, but also offer so many great resources for feeding, nighttime support, and general calm.

Find a pelvic floor physical therapist who will spend some time with you helping your pelvic floor prepare for birth, and who will then help you recover after birth. The connection between pelvic health and mental well being is very strong. Even if you have a “text book” birth and little to no tearing, your pelvic floor just underwent A LOT to grow and birth a human. It is common to have pelvic floor dysfuntion symptoms, but is not NORMAL, and deserves attention so your day to day life activities are not impacted. It’s my opinion that the out of network providers are much more thorough in their support, and much more worth your time and money. Many take HSA/FSA cards; and most offer payment plans.

Take it all or leave it all; but those are my top recommendations on how to set yourself up for a supported, easier postpartum experience. If you’re feeling overwhelmed even at this, consider booking a session with me to help you plan and stay on track!

Thanks for reading.